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04 October 2007 @ 06:25 pm

Have you ever felt like you were the star of one of those 'funniest home videos - rennovation DISASTER' things?

Well, it started off when we noticed a rectangular shadow stretching down one of our inside walls. Having only just recently removed a giant termite nest from the roof (yes, how frigging scary. We sprayed it - squished it - burnt it.) we were immediantly freaked out. So, on a 30+degree day dad and I ventured up into the roof (which is vast, low, and scary considering a wrong foot can land you through the ceiling). Anyway, we KNEW there were going to be termites up there so we carefully scampered across the rafters and found a few small trails.

Okay, not the disaster we had imagined.

We then made the mistake of going downstairs.

This is an old house - it was also neglected for many years before we bought it. Add to this the fact that it's a farm property and therefore not really governed by the same laws as suburbia. Anyway, we thought it might be a good idea to remove the roof of the toilet. There were bird eggs in there... Two packets of rat sack and at least half a cubic meter of dirt. Which, is fine on it's own. Except that out of the corner of our eyes we saw and old termite trail go along the roof toward the outside wall. Already freaked out by the concept of things eating the house, we started to take a crowbar to the top of the roof. Which is fine, I guess, if you don't value having a roof... Next, we noticed that the trail led down into one of the outside walls. We were a FRACTION of a second away from taking a crowbar to the wall in search of these pesky ants.

Deciding that this impromptue rennovation was likely to result in the demolishion of the house, we took a break and headed upstairs... where we once again encounted the slightly crumpled patch of wall. I put my ear to it and heard the AWFUL CREEPY DISTURBING sound of things chewing. In a destructive and paranoid mood, we grabbed two cans of surface spray, fly spray, two vacuum cleaners, a maglight torch, chisel and hammer.


yes, this is going where you think it is going.

Intending to only puncture small holes in the wall to 'see' if the extent of the damage, it was not long until we had begun HACKING away at the living room, emptying the entirity of the spray onto the thousands of white ants. We sucked them up using the vacuum cleaner and inhaled enough poison to make us high. BUT the important thing was that the termites were EXTERMINATED.

NOT CONTENT, we began whacking the walls beside the now desemated termites, occassionally chipping into the wall. Thankfully, we came to our senses short of stripping the house to its frames.

We didn't demolish the house in our tunnel- vision search of pests, but we did come close! lol

(Deleted comment)
ellymellyellymelly on October 4th, 2007 05:57 am (UTC)
you're allowed to ask, i certainly was!

the last time we got a termite so-called exterminator in they put baits in the roof and FED the horrible things! *POKES PEST MAN* hence we took descisive action! lol

hmm... good thing the house is hardwood! lol
Sapph: Lisa - Death by cutesapphs on October 4th, 2007 06:32 am (UTC)
*laughs helplessly*

I've just an image of both of you with massive hammers and a maniacal expression of glee on your faces as you hacked and sprayed *giggles and wipes tears*

Oh that was so funny read... But *ahem* of course I hope you did no lasting damage to yourselves with the spray...

ellymelly: plot miceellymelly on October 4th, 2007 06:42 am (UTC)
*coughs weakly* I'm fine really. :D

I'm quite sure we actually made the air toxic because we were usuing surface spray as opposed to normal spray. lol but yes, dad had the chisel and hammer, i had the spray and mum had the vacuum cleaner. lol we are now DEMOLITION EXPERTS!
Liza: Ewwlizamanynames on October 4th, 2007 07:26 am (UTC)
If it makes you feel any better, this would be my exact reaction to hearing chewing noises inside my walls.
ellymelly: gods noellymelly on October 4th, 2007 07:45 am (UTC)
Time Lord: BSG - God Loves Youdallirious on October 4th, 2007 09:26 am (UTC)
Oh man I would have loved a piece of that action. Or just to watch it take place. All in all, despite the fact that you partially demolished the house, did you have fun?
ellymelly: adama's gonna kill meellymelly on October 4th, 2007 10:28 am (UTC)
that morally wrong kind of glee that you tend to get from destruction... *channels baltar*

Time Lord: DH - Flicka - Eat Itdallirious on October 4th, 2007 10:31 am (UTC)
Exactly. There's always a little part of you that enjoys this sort of thing. Some people (Baltar) take it and run with it. Probably best not to though.
ellymelly: hmmellymelly on October 4th, 2007 11:01 am (UTC)
no... i like my house with you know, walls... :D
Lemon: Cat - lollemon_tree_x on October 4th, 2007 12:40 pm (UTC)
This is... this is... SO funny :D

I know, I shouldn't laugh, but - not chance ;)

Sometimes I think another country to live in would be nice, but termites??? No thank you very much, but no!
ellymelly: may I take your order?ellymelly on October 4th, 2007 06:05 pm (UTC)
... you're laughing at me! *glares*

nah, I was laughing at me so that's okay. Termites are only really a problem if you have them lol. And being on a farm, we have them. *leaves can of spray in full view*

Lemonlemon_tree_x on October 15th, 2007 02:31 pm (UTC)

*rofl* This reminds me on that movie... Startroopers? Where, in the future, the humans fight against monster bugs :).

What temperatures (highest and lowest) do you have where you live?
selenay_x: Laura kiddingselenay_x on October 4th, 2007 03:11 pm (UTC)
OMG - I'm laughing so hard Munchie has just been startled off his perch.

Thank you so much for sharing
ellymelly: plot miceellymelly on October 4th, 2007 06:06 pm (UTC)
lol poor Munchie!

If he's a carniverous bird, he's more than welcome to join in!
sidhe1sidhe1 on October 4th, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC)
LOL!! Oh no, hun. I'm sorry but that's hilarious. My mom's house had termites once a few years back. They got the exterminators out and they did this special kind of treatment where they drill holes about 18 inches apart outside AND inside the entire perimeter of the house and drop chemical termite bombs in them. They didn't have to much as a fly in their house for like 8 years. I'm amazed it didn't kill any of the animals. =P
ellymelly: busyellymelly on October 4th, 2007 08:39 pm (UTC)
we tried those things but i swear our termites must be some kind of mutated lifeform because they devoured the baits, increased in size and mulitude and became MORE SCARY. (hence the hacking at walls with spray) lol

I'm glad she got rid of them, i only hope ours will go as well lol!!!
sidhe1sidhe1 on October 4th, 2007 11:09 pm (UTC)
Holy crap! Be careful--I'd hate for giant, mutant termites to cart you off in your sleep or something.
ellymelly: squickedellymelly on October 5th, 2007 03:33 am (UTC)
well, you know, if i go missing or anything...

*distances self from the wall just in case*
sidhe1sidhe1 on October 6th, 2007 12:17 am (UTC)
LOL! Yeah. Better safe than sorry.