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05 June 2006 @ 11:58 pm
Be Prepared part 8  

Title: Be Prepared
By: ellymelly
Stargate/Atlantis crossover
Genre: Comedy/Action
Summary: What happens when you give a human a time machine? ah, 'bad things' if you're mckay... lmao!


•   Dr. Rodney Mckay
•   Major John Sheppard
•   Dr. Elizabeth Weir
•   Dr. Zelenka
•   Lieutenant Ford – possibly not sure whether I want to rescue him yet lol
•   Teyla
•   Dr. Daniel Jackson
•   Colonel Samantha Carter
•   Ancient sound system

[ it’s a piece of broken pipe… ]

MCKAY: “Door’s open.”
JOHN: “Good, let’s go -  somewhere…”
TEYLA: “Find Ford?”
JOHN: “Yeah, let’s go find Ford.”
BECKETT: “Do you even know where he is?”   Huh
JOHN: “Sure I do, he’s in 6.9*0”  Grin
CARTER: “And where are we?”   Huh
JOHN: “I have no idea.”  Undecided
DANIEL: (brightly) “Why don’t we ask something?”  Cheesy

-   With this, Daniel made his way over to the consol with everyone watching him – still unsure whether his plan was mad or brilliant. Perhaps it was both, whatever it was, Rodney was still hanging on his last line – sure that there was something not quite right about it….

MCKAY: “You know, I don’t believe you can make that sound right.”

-   Daniel grinned at the brilliancy of his plan and looked down at the consol in front of him, though it was true he didn’t have the gene, there was nothing preventing him from touching the little glowing buttons. He reached down and to everyone’s concern – nervously touched the blinking consol.

 “Please remove your spindly extremity from the very expensive display system.”

MCKAY: “Hmm.”
CARTER: “Maybe not…”
DANIEL: “Did it just say spindly?”   Angry
TEYLA: “Perhaps you should touch it again.”
BECKETT: (concerned) “Perhaps not.”

-   Daniel – though a little uncertain, tried again.

 “Repeated attempts shall prove unwise.”
JOHN: “Touchy, isn’t it.”
CARTER: “Quite.”
BECKETT: “Shouldn’t you be careful. It did say tha’ it would be unwise.”
DANIEL: “It’s a voice system, what harm could it possibly do?”
BECKETT: “An ancient voice system.”

-   Daniel, not deterred in the least continued touching things, much to the distress of the alien system.

 “Please refrain from – stop – don’t touch that – wait – remove your foot! – don’t put your – if you continue in this manner we will be forced to take action!”   Angry

-   Daniel found a rather interesting button on the side of the display, it was bright blue and blinking happily - above it were several lines of Ancient text. If Daniel’s rough translation was correct then he probably shouldn’t touch it. Something about bugs… Armed with this information he hovered his finger above the button. The ALIEN SYSTEM was less then pleased with this development.


   - Daniel touched it.  Grin
   - The consol retaliated.


-   Daniel disappeared in the quick flash of light that usually accompanies an Ancient beam leaving the team starring at the control consol.

ZELENKA: “Oh so oops…”
JOHN: “Great, that’s two we’ve lost.”
CARTER: “Now what?”
MCKAY: “It’s like I always say, leave the touching to the experts.”  Cool
JOHN: “And what are you going do?”
CARTER: “You saw what it did to Daniel.”
MCKAY: “Watch and learn.”

-   Mckay looked up to the ceiling.

MCKAY: “Okay, we get it. You are the cool ancient control system – that’s wonderful. Nice to meet you, my name’s Rodney.”
 “Of this I am aware.”
JOHN: (to Teyla) “At least he’s got it to talk.”
 “It’s pure curiosity I assure you.”
MCKAY: (hurt) “Whatever. We were wondering if you could tell – or better yet, show us where we are?”

-   The System thought for a moment.

 “No.”   Tongue
MCKAY: “I’ll ask once more nicely then I’ll have to take action myself.”
 “You wouldn’t dare.”

-   Mckay stabbed the screw driver in his hand into the consol next to him.

 “OW! Fine.”   Angry

-   The blank screen was suddenly filled with the schematics of the city. Their little life sign dots were clustered together in a central building and then there were three others scattered in various locations.

MCKAY: “Oh no.”
CARTER: “What now?”
MCKAY: “We only lost two, right?”
JOHN: “Daniel and Ford, yeah that’s two.”
ZELENKA: “So who’s that?”
JOHN: “Whoever it is, we’ve got to check it out. We’ll break into groups.”
MCKAY: “Again?”
JOHN: “Yes again. Teyla, you take Dr.’s Zelenka and Beckett and check out this dot and we’ll find this one. Radio contact as soon as you get there.”
CARTER: “What about that one.” (pointing to the last flickering dot.)
JOHN: “Depending on what we find in the first two, we may or may not meet back up to check it out.”
MCKAY: “Right. Well, we’re going to need –”

-   The Alien System beamed down two Life Signs Detectors.

MCKAY: “Why, how thoughtful of you.”  *raises eyebrow suggestively*
 (cynically) “Don’t mention it.”
MCKAY: (walking over to the broken pipe) “We might be needing this.”
CARTER: “Agreed.”

-   About an hour later Carter, John and Mckay were en route to the first blinking dot. So far the trip had been uneventful, John had gotten lost – twice, Carter and gently reminded him to keep his distance, Mckay had accidentally set off a local alarm which then upset the ALIEN SYSTEM which just put everybody in a bad mood. To make matters worse, a new dot had just appeared from no where somewhere in the corridor ahead.

MCKAY: “Are we sure we want to be doing this.”
JOHN: “Come on Rodney, she’s scarier then anything we’ll meet in here.”

-   To prove his point Carter looked back toward him in her best Goa’uld glare.

MCKAY: “Good, good.”

-   John continued to take point whilst Mckay allowed himself to slip back to Carter’s position, the grin he’d been concealing creeping across his face. She let him get with in whisper distance.

MCKAY: (whispering) “Someone’s been practicing.”
CARTER: (whispering) “Sh… or I’ll have to date you.”

-   Mckay raised his eyebrows and backed off.   Huh

JOHN: (oblivious) “It’s up ahead.”
TEYLA: (radio) “John, this is Teyla”
JOHN: (radio) “Yes?”
TEYLA: (radio) “We found –”
DANIEL: (radio) “Hello? This thing on?”  Smiley
TELYLA: (radio) “Daniel…”
CARTER: Perfect.
JOHN: (radio) “Great, well, carry on to the second dot, you’re closer to it, we’re just checking something out. Sheppard out.”
TEYLA: (radio) “Understood.”

MCKAY: (to Carter) “and you know I’ve always said that – ”
JOHN: “Shush! It’s just round here.”

-   Mckay, for lack of projectile weapon, raised his piece of broken pipe.
-   The three of them cautiously approached the corner of the corridor. John went first, well, technically his gun went first and he followed close behind. Everyone held their breath as he met with –

JOHN: (shock) “Elizabeth!”  Shocked

-   Elizabeth was sitting up against the side of the corridor casually playing with her camera. John lowered his weapon as the other two joined them.

ELIZABETH: “I’ve been expecting you.”
MCKAY: “ ‘lizbeth! Where on Earth did you come from?”
ELIZABETH: “Thor’s ship.”
CARTER: “But how did he know where to –”
ELIZABETH: “He didn’t. His sensors can’t penetrate the city otherwise he would have beamed you all back but he did manage to beam me into the city itself.”
MCKAY: “But weren’t you on Atlantis?”   Huh
ELIZABETH: “Yes.”  Grin
MCKAY: “Ok.”  Undecided
JOHN: “Well, seeing as though you’re here, why don’t you join us.”
ELIZABETH: “What are doing?”
CARTER: “Finding Ford.”
ELIZABETH: “You lost him already?”
MCKAY: “Not the first time.”
CARTER: “Unlikely to be the last.”

-   Elizabeth raised her camera and took a snap shot of Mckay with the pipe raised stupidly above his head. Mckay blinked.

MCKAY: “Why’d you do that?”  Huh
ELIZABETH: “No reason.”  Grin
MCKAY: “Okay.”


-   John, Mckay, Carter and Elizabeth had finally reached the location of the second dot, however there were a few concerning factors. Firstly, for the last half hour they’d been following some sort dried grayish substance which looked remarkably like alien blood – worse was that it seemed to be detailed in drag marks. Secondly, these ‘drag marks’ led straight to the location of a storage door. Thirdly, the door itself contained dozens of locks and bolts clearly designed to keep something in and last but not least, the terrible dent marks in the door like something had tried to force its way in.

ELIZABETH: “Are you sure this is where Ford is?”
CARTER: “Seems a bit over kill for one Ford.” (seeing Mckay’s look) “Then again, I’ve only known him a short time. In any case, the only way to find out is to get this door open. John?”
JOHN: (looking at the less than encouraging sight of the bolted door) “I don’t want to open it, why don’t you do it?”
CARTER: (taking another wary glance at the door) “Because… Mckay here is going to do it.”
MCKAY: (in defense) “I am?”
JOHN: “You are.”
MCKAY: “Great. Well, if I’m going to open it, you’re going to stand in front of it with a P90.”
JOHN: “What!” (seeing this as more compromising) “ I’ll open the door.”
MCKAY: “Oh I don’t think so.”
JOHN: “I thought you said you wanted me to do it.”
MCKAY: “Actually, that was Carter, I merely agreed to your request. Besides, you’re better equipped than me to handle the P90.”
JOHN: “And why is that?”
MCKAY: “You’re stronger.”
JOHN: “So shouldn’t I lever the door open?”
MCKAY: “Well, your strength would make you better at wielding say, a P90. Any half descent physicist can handel a crowbar.”
JOHN: “It’s a piece of broken pipe…”
CARTER: “Could someone please just open the d*** door?”
MCKAY: “Getting there.”
hypercazhypercaz on June 5th, 2006 07:15 pm (UTC)
leave the touching to the experts...gold pure gold.

WAIT there's no more?!
ellymellyellymelly on June 5th, 2006 08:39 pm (UTC)
hypercazhypercaz on June 6th, 2006 01:39 am (UTC)

*giggles madly*

here's another one!
ellymelly: Let's playellymelly on June 6th, 2006 07:48 am (UTC)