ZELENKA: “Not my first choice.”

- The three of them looked at the contraption in the centre of the puddle jumper which was now glowing brightly.

CARTER: “What’d you do?”
RODNEY: “I’m not entirely sure.”
ZELENKA: “It could just be me, but wasn’t that planet green a few moments ago?”
CARTER: “Mckay, what were you thinking just now?”
RODNEY: “Oh nothing – just thinking back to that mission report where you found a time machine inside a puddle jumper and I thought, ‘wouldn’t it be cool if we…”
BECKETT: “O’ no…”
CARTER: “Flip it back! Flip it back!”

- *FLASH* The planet returns to a nice lush green.

BECKETT: “O’ thank god.”

- *FLASH*

RODNEY: “Uh oh…”
CARTER: “Rodney!”

- *FLASH*

RODNEY: “Hey, cool.”
ZELENKA: “Quit it!”

- *FLASH*

BECKETT: “Here ‘e go.”

- *FLASH*
- Two huge Wraith ships start flying towards them.

CARTER: “MCKAY!”
RODNEY: “Oh, sorry.”

- *FLASH*

BECKETT: “Knock it off Mckay!”

- *FLASH*

RODNEY: “I’m confused.”
ZELENKA: “Rodney!”
RODNEY: “Kidding.”

- *FLASH*

CARTER: “Oh for the love of Pete… Give it here!”
RODNEY: “You haven’t got the funky gene.
BECKETT: “I’ll do’t.”
RODNEY/ZELENKA: “NO!”
CARTER: “Don’t think anything.”
ZELENKA: “Do you think it would be wise idea to get out of here?”
RODNEY: “Don’t ask me questions or I’ll start thinkin’.”
ZELENKA: “I wasn’t, I was simply giving you instructions so that we don’t end up in any more life threatening predica –”

- *FLASH*
- They all turn to see the sun swollen and about to explode…

CARTER/BECKETT/ZELENKA: (frantically yelling) “Turn it back!”

- *FLASH*

___________

JOHN: “Who would call at this hour?”
RODNEY: “You know, it’s not this time all over the galaxy.”
JOHN: “I knew that.”

___________

DANIEL: “Dr. Beckett I presume. I met you briefly in Antarctica.”
BECKETT: “It was ‘n accident…”

___________

- Rodney secretly wondered why Thor sounded suspiciously like Dr. Jackson.

___________

JOHN: “There’s got to be a catch.”
ELIZABETH: “What do you mean John?”
JOHN: “Well, there’s never just a huge piece of highly advanced technology just waiting to be taken with no opposition.”

- Mckay looked at Sheppard and then motioned to the space around him. Weir smirked.

JOHN: “Okay, there’s usually a catch.”

________

DANIEL: “Nice ship you’ve got here.”
CARTER: “And is that a new holographic display system?”
THOR: “Indeed.”

- Colour started to return to several faces.

DANIEL: “Is it new?”
THOR: “It was finished two months ago.”
FORD: “What’s it called?”
THOR: “The Enterprise.”

- Another awkward silence takes hold of the crew. Daniel and Carter exchange looks.

JOHN: “It’s nice.”

_______

DANIEL: “You know, we’re about to exit hyperspace – you might want to think about holding on.”
MCKAY: “Oh please, this ship has inertial dampeners. We shouldn’t feel a – ”

- Everyone except Daniel and Sam landed on the ground in a heap.

JOHN: “Ow.”

- The Atlantis team looked lividly at Mckay.

MCKAY: “Hmm… my mistake.”

_______

DANIEL: “You know, I’m a little uncomfortable with small areas.”
ZELENKA: “Figures, an archaeologist with a fear of enclosed spaces.”

______

- The lift starts to plummet faster.

MCKAY: “Oh. I presumed that would help.”
CARTER: “Well you presumed with my life.”

- All the lights go off.

ALL: “Ah!”
BECKETT: “Sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

- Lights go back on.

JOHN: “There.”

- Lights go off.

JOHN: “Stop that!”
BECKETT: “Wasn’ me.”
MCKAY: “Oops.”

- Light come on.

MCKAY: “There. Problem solved.”

- Lights go off.

MCKAY: “Carson!”
BECKETT: “It’s a primativ’ defense mechanism’. I can’ help ‘t Rodney.”

- Lights go on.

FORD: “How come we’re floating?”
MCKAY: “It’s one of the more immutable laws of Newtonian physics.”
FORD: “And what happens when we reach the bottom?”
MCKAY: “Bad things.”

_______

THOR: “Apologies, my digit lacked sufficient traction with the beam mechanism.”
MCKAY: (off hand) “His finger slipped.”

_______

JOHN: “Did we just?”
MCKAY: “Yes.”
JOHN: “And is that ship…”
MCKAY: “Yes.”
JOHN: “So basically we’re…”
MCKAY: “Yes.”
FORD: “And I didn’t even get to name it.”
MCKAY: (sharply) “Don’t even get me started on you.”
JOHN: “Oh, and what would you have called it Gateship boy?”
FORD: “Whoops.”
BECKETT: “Somehow ‘ Whoops’ just doesn’t cut it.”

______

JOHN: (innocently) “What’s wrong with Ford?”
MCKAY: “Many things…”

______

MCKAY: “Can’t hurt to try.”
BECKETT: “That’s what they all say.”

______

FORD: “I’m serious dude, you gotta stop eating chocolate.”
MCKAY: “Eat well, keep fit, die anyway…”

______

ANCIENT TRANSPORTING DEVICE

stolen from Noxiard Laboratires East Western Arm 873754 if found please return.
WARNING: This device is only good for 10 000 years or 2 600 000 beams, after which period no responsibility will be taken for injury, accidental location confusion or mind swapping.

_______

ALIEN CIRCUIT
: “We advise that the door you are touching is currently locked.”
MCKAY: “Thank you, I noticed – wait, did that door just talk to me???”
FORD: “Don’t worry, everything seems to talk to you – watch.”

- He touches the consol.

ALL: “FOR THE LOVE OF P-”

ALIEN CONSOL:
“Please step away from the consol.”
ALL: (collective sigh)
ZELENKA: (under his breath) “It’s smart too…”

______

MCKAY: “Yes, well, the laws of physics aren’t multiple choice…”

______

MCKAY: “Okay, we get it. You are the cool ancient control system – that’s wonderful. Nice to meet you, my name’s Rodney.”
ALIEN SYSTEM:
“Of this I am aware.”

_____

JOHN: (to Carter) “What’s an Urgo?”
CARTER: “A defective ego.”