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05 June 2006 @ 11:49 pm
Be Prepared part 3  
Title: Be Prepared
By: ellymelly
Stargate/Atlantis crossover
Genre: Comedy/Action
Summary: What happens when you give a human a time machine? ah, 'bad things' if you're mckay... lmao!


•   Dr. Rodney Mckay
•   Major John Sheppard
•   Dr. Zelenka
•    Lieutenant Ford
•   Teyla
•   Dr. Daniel Jackson
•   Colonel Samantha Carter
•   Thor
•   Oh dozens more…

[ They saw, they explored, they got stuck – as you do…]

-   Five hours later and Mckay, Sheppard, Zelenka, Ford, Teyla, Daniel and Carter find themselves beamed up onto Thor’s shiny new ship.
-   There appears to be no ground beneath them – the planet of Atlantis moves slowly below. Daniel and Carter are calm, the Atlantis team - not so much.

DANIEL: “Nice ship you’ve got here.”
CARTER: “And is that a new holographic display system?”
THOR: “Indeed.”  *raises eyebrow suggestively*

-   Colour started to return to several faces.

DANIEL: “Is it new?”
THOR: “It was finished two months ago.”
FORD: “What’s it called?”
THOR: “The Enterprise.”

-   Another awkward silence takes hold of the crew. Daniel and Carter exchange looks.

JOHN: “It’s nice.”

-   Thor beamed.

THOR: “I have input the co-ordinates Colonel Carter gave me. We should arrive in half an hour.”


-   Half an hour later. The group is standing in the transporter room. Daniel and Carter are clutching a nearby railing.

DANIEL: “You know, we’re about to exit hyperspace – you might want to think about holding on.”
MCKAY: “Oh please, this ship has inertial dampeners. We shouldn’t feel a – ”

-   Everyone except Daniel and Sam landed on the ground in a heap.

JOHN: “Ow.”

-   The Atlantis team looked lividly at Mckay.   Angry

MCKAY: “Hmm… my mistake.”

-   Through the holographically clear walls of the ship they could see a planet and above it, a giant ship. It was so unbelievably huge that it made The Enterprise look like a puddlejumper. Everyone stared is awe.

JOHN: “Nice.”
FORD: “That is one big piece of space junk.”
TEYLA: “Never have I seen anything like this.”
THOR: (over the ships intercom) “All my sensors indicate viable life support on board. Prepare for transport.”
JOHN: “Wait we don’t even know wha – ”

-   *BEAM*

JOHN: “Never mind.”

-   They had all been transported aboard what they presumed to be the giant ship. Only problem was that there were no lights on…

DANIEL: “It’s dark…”
MCKAY: “Oh, thank you for pointing that out.”
CARTER: “Major Sheppard thi –”

-   All the lights went on.

BECKETT: “Ah, I think that was me.”
JOHN: “Excellent. Don’t do it again.”
BECKETT: “Sorri.’”

CARTER: “Hey, I recognize that.”

-   She motioned over towards the wall.

FORD: “It’s a transporter.”
JOHN: “Let’s check it out.”

-   A few minutes later and they were all trying to squeeze into the same transporter. They made it – just. On the wall appeared the schematics of the ship, one section was glowing a faint pink.

DANIEL: “Hey that’s cool…”

-   Daniel moved to touch the screen.

MCKAY: “Don’t do tha – ”

-   *FLASH*

BECKETT: “O’ fabulous.”
DANIEL: “What’d I do?”
MCKAY: “You transported us somewhere on the ship. Hence ‘it’s a transporter.’
DANIEL: “That’s not so bad.”

-   Ford was standing closest to the screen.

FORD: “Look, I’ll get us back. I burned the location into my mind.”

-   What Ford didn’t see was his elbow about to touch a little red button on the wall next to the screen.

-   *WHOOSH*

-   Everyone suddenly became suspended in the plummeting lift.

JOHN: “Mckay!”
MCKAY: “It also doubles as a lift!” (to Ford) “What did you do!”
DANIEL: “You know, I’m a little uncomfortable with small areas.”
ZELENKA: “Figures, an archaeologist with a fear of enclosed spaces.”
FORD: “I did nothing!”
MCKAY: “Here.” (pressing another button next to Carter)

-   The lift starts to plummet faster.

MCKAY: “Oh. I presumed that would help.”
CARTER: “Well you presumed with my life.”   Angry

-   All the lights go off.

ALL: “Ah!”
BECKETT: “Sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

-   Lights go back on.

JOHN: “There.”

-   Lights go off.

JOHN: “Stop that!”
BECKETT: “Wasn’ me.”
MCKAY: “Oops.”

-   Light come on.

MCKAY: “There. Problem solved.”

-   Lights go off.

MCKAY: “Carson!”
BECKETT: “It’s a primativ’ defense mechanism’. I can’ help ‘t Rodney.”

-   Lights go on.

FORD: “How come we’re floating?”
MCKAY: “It’s one of the more immutable laws of Newtonian physics.”
FORD: “And what happens when we reach the bottom?”
MCKAY: “Bad things.”  Sad

-   Major Sheppard closed his eyes and thought hard.
-   After several minutes the lift came to gentle stop.

JOHN: “Now that’s more like it.”

-   The transporter door slides open. Everyone leaps out.

BECKETT: “Let’s take th’ stairs next time.”
DANIEL: “Agreed.”

-   Metallic sounds comes from down the hall. It is suspiciously Replicator like.
-   Daniel and Carter raise their P90’s real fast.

MCKAY: “Ah!”
JOHN: “What are you doing?”
CARTER: “Replicators.”
JOHN: “We’re in another galaxy…”

-   They hear the sound again. This time it’s more like a scratch than a Replicator buzz.

DANIEL: “I don’t think that’s a Replicator.”
CARTER: “I’m going to check it out.”
DANIEL: “I’m going to come with you.”

-   They hurry off down the hall toward the sound.

JOHN: “Ford, you go with them. And don’t touch anything.”
FORD: “Yes Sir.”

-   He follows.


-   The sound they’ve been hearing is coming from underneath a control panel not far down the corridor. Carter bends down to take a look. Three beady black eyes blink happily back.

CARTER: “Well hello there.”
FORD: “What is it?”
DANIEL: (narrows his eyes) “I’m unsure.”   Huh
CARTER: (into radio) “Major Sheppard, we’ve located the source of the noise.”
FORD: (radio) “It’s a cute little critter.”
DANIEL: “Little alien critter.”   Undecided
CARTER: (into radio) “It looks like bit of a mouse crossed with a pompom crossed with a cat and it’s pink. It has three black eyes, four feet and a tail with a tuft on the end.”

-   Back at the transporter Mckay was frowning trying to picture this.

JOHN: (radio) “Cute.”

-   Carter extended her hand out to it. The creature hopped over to it – blinking all the way. Carter beamed.

CARTER: “I’m calling it Scarabs.”
DANIEL: “No, you can’t keep it.”
FORD: “Aww… it’s cute.” (he bends down and extends hand.) “Look at this … OW!”

-   Scarabs bit Ford on the hand. In return he jumped up, hitting his head on the control panel above.

FORD: “It bites!”  Shocked
CARTER: “It didn’t bite me.”
DANIEL: “Ah guys…”  Sad

-   Atlantian words had filled the display panel on the consol.

CARTER: “What’s it say?”
DANIEL: “Shield raised.”
CARTER:(to radio) “Major, we have a few problems. It seems that Lieutenant Ford has raised the vessels' shields.”

JOHN: (rolling his eyes in disbelief) “You said a few?”
CARTER: “We can’t get them back down.”

MCKAY: “Oh. That’s bad.”
BECKETT: “How so’?”
ZELENKA: “If we don’t get those shields down Thor can’t beam us back.”
JOHN: “Really?”
MCKAY: “Really.”
hypercazhypercaz on June 5th, 2006 06:55 pm (UTC)
LOL!!! Cute little critters and Ford screwing up teehee. *should be writing major work*