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05 June 2006 @ 11:43 pm
Be Prepared...  
Title: Be Prepared
By: ellymelly
Stargate/Atlantis crossover
Genre: Comedy/Action
Summary: What happens when you give a human a time machine? ah, 'bad things' if you're mckay... lmao!


So oops…

an ellymelly fic

•   Dr. Elizabeth Weir
•   Dr. Rodney Mckay
•   Major John Sheppard
•   Dr. Zelenka
•   A poor and unfortunate soccer ball

Pairings: you fill in the gaps.

[ An experiment on a certain Major’s soccer ball goes a little wrong ]

Pointless really but be nice – first real fic and all…  Smiley

-   Mckay and Sheppard are in one of the multiple Atlantian science labs. Mckay is moaning about the shocking new coffee wannabe whilst Zelenka busies himself in the background. It’s still early in the morning and no one’s really in the mood…

RODNEY: (complaining) “It’s – it’s just not the same…”
JOHN: “Oh lighten up Mckay, this stuff isn’t half bad.

-   To prove his point, Major John Sheppard brought his mug up and took a huge swig. Rodney looked on less than convinced. It was at this moment that Elizabeth chose to slide into the lab dressed in her usual red top and uniform pants. Her hair was still a little out of place, but then again, it was only early yet.

ELIZABETH: “What’s going on here?”
RODNEY: “Elizabeth, tell the Major here that the Akaya nut is a poor substitute for coffee.”

-   Elizabeth raised her eyebrow and took a sip out of her own mug.

ELIZABETH: “I don’t know Rodney, it’s not half bad.”
RODNEY: (in disgust) “That’s what he said.”
ELIZABETH: “What are you doing here at this time of the morning anyway?”
JOHN: “Rodney was just showing off some of his research into phase shift technology.”
ELIZABETH: “That sounds interesting.”
RODNEY: “We’re not quite there yet as I’ve been trying to tell Sheppard.”
ELIZABETH: “Mind if I have a demonstration?”

-   Rodney looked at Elizabeth, he could have sworn that he just said that they weren’t ready yet, in any case he moved over to the half deflated soccer ball and Dr. Zelenka who was humming around it fiddling with the very complicated looking equipment.
-   Zelenka looked questioningly at Rodney who quickly explained the situation. Zelenka reminded him that this test was not ready but Rodney insisted that the only way to be rid of the intrusion was to show them that it didn’t work rather than just tell them.
-   Elizabeth and Sheppard moved over to the soccer ball whilst Zelenka connected a wire.

JOHN: “Mckay… is that my soccer ball?”   Angry
RODNEY: “Yes, I suppose that’s a good bet.” (There’s a pause as Rodney receives a nasty look from Sheppard.) “But don’t worry, as I said, this won’t work.”

-   Sheppard just knew he wasn’t going to get that ball back… With that, Rodney threw the switch. The device around the ball glowed and hummed loudly for a few seconds, the ball flickered into transparency before falling straight through the table and out of sight. After a few brief screams as it fell through the breakfast rooms below the base went back to morning silence. Rodney and Zelenka looked at each other while Elizabeth and Sheppard looked on in shock.

ZELENKA: “So oops…”
RODNEY: (dejectedly) “You can kiss that soccer ball goodbye.”
ELIZABETH: “Rodney, what happened?”
RODNEY: “Well, as I said, we were experimenting with turning matter into energy form, like bringing the matter out of phase ala sci-fi – or Nirti but that’s a long story…”
JOHN: “And did it work?”

-   Zelenka and Rodney exchanged looks.

RODNEY: “Sort of.”
JOHN: “What do you mean, ‘sort of’ Rodney?”
RODNEY: “Well, it brings matter out of phase – it doesn’t eliminate the gravity’s influence.”
ELIZABETH: “Dr. get to the point.”
RODNEY: “It well, fell through the floor.”
JOHN: “Fell through to where?”

-   Sheppard was swiftly losing all hope of seeing his soccer ball again.

RODNEY: “It should be making its way toward the centre of the planet where it will kinda…”
ZELENKA: “Stay.”
ELIZABETH: “For how long Rodney?”
RODNEY: “Um, hard to say.”
ZELENKA: “Several billion years – “
RODNEY: “At least.”
ZELENKA: “Until the sun explodes.”

-   One of those awkward pauses ensued.

JOHN: “So much for Trek.”    Huh

-   Major Sheppard was still looking at the space where his soccer ball had been moments before.

ELIZABETH: “Yeah, I’m not going to recommend human trials anytime soon.”

-   Rodney nodded in agreement with Elizabeth whilst Sheppard gave him one of those, ‘my soccer ball will be avenged’ looks.
-   The Atlantian alarm went off in time to save Rodney.

RANDOM VOICE: “Unauthorized wormhole. Dr. Weir to the Gateroom.”

JOHN: “Who would call at this hour?”
RODNEY: “You know, it’s not this time all over the galaxy.”
JOHN: “I knew that.”
ELIZABETH: “Oh just what I need.”

-   She put her mug down.

ELIZABETH: “Excuse me gentlemen.”
JOHN: “I should probably – ”

-   And he left as well. Rodney looked around the empty lab and particularly at the mug now sitting next to the very delicate Atlantian equipment.

RODNEY: “It’s bad enough they come in and interrupt my lab drinking their stupid half pitched attempt at coffee but why, I ask, do they have to leave that substance sitting on my desk?”

-   He picked up Elizabeth’s mug and took a sniff before recoiling quickly in disgust.

RODNEY: “Eew…”

-   And with that he followed the others in the direction of the Gateroom.

(Anonymous) on June 5th, 2006 06:06 pm (UTC)
LOL!!!!!!!!!! That still cracks me up. But I've just realised something. Would John really have a soccerb ball as opposed to a grid iron ball?
(Anonymous) on June 5th, 2006 06:06 pm (UTC)
^ that was me, HyperCaz LOL
ellymelly: immunityellymelly on June 5th, 2006 08:44 pm (UTC)
but like, you just couldn't be bothered to sign in lmao!

shouldn't you be like doing something along the lines of a major work???? hehehehehe