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29 April 2009 @ 10:27 pm
 
THINGS TO REMEMBER IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE IN AUSTRALIA

#1 If something bites/stings/claws/stabs or otherwise maims you and you're still alive in 15 minutes, you're going to be fine.
#2 Do not approach large bodies of water - no matter how tempting.
#3 Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it won't eat you.
#4 It's all true.
#5 Carry a large stick.
#6 Don't bother running.
#7 The North East Coast is NOT a holiday destination - it is Survival of the Fittest in action.
#8 Aeroguard won't protect you from mosquitos the size of airliners.
#9 Your house is not a safe zone.
#10 DO NOT CUDDLE THE WILDLIFE

 
 
 
ellymelly: oops bug crashellymelly on April 30th, 2009 08:26 am (UTC)
Re: It's not that bad
LMAO

australia's like evolution's little 'in-joke'.


inside of one month, (without trying) i came into close quarters with 4 of the deadliest snakes in the world, 3 incredibly angry and poisonous spiders, a wild bore pretending to be a steer, territorial magpies, seriously peeved orcas, a shark and a fleet of blue-bottles. oh, and a hyperschitzo chocolate wattle bat - inside the house. lol and a large - but non-dangerous tree snake. under my feet. at the computer.
norgconorgco on April 30th, 2009 08:37 am (UTC)
Re: It's not that bad
So, it was a quiet month then.

Sounds a little boring but some people prefer it that way.

On the other hand zoologists explain that the Koala's survival strategy is "Sleep a lot and don't waste energy on a big brain."

Other countries get animal atheletes. We get Homer Simpson when it's not Hannibal Lecter.
ellymellyellymelly on April 30th, 2009 08:55 am (UTC)
Re: It's not that bad
True. Mind you, can't blame the Koala's when life on the ground is so vicious.

I think the creature I hate most is the monitor lizard. seriously, we had one determined to clamber over the back fence with its huge claws and curved teeth and - well basically it just looked like a dinosaur coming in for the kill LOL probably best not to tell the tourists about them.

and lol - thank you for reminding me about the cassowaries - at least i don't have those! i don't think... better check.

norgconorgco on April 30th, 2009 09:07 am (UTC)
Re: It's not that bad
How does the quote go:

"If you consider the wild life, it's not surprising Australia is lightly populated. What is surprising is that it is populated at all."
ellymellyellymelly on April 30th, 2009 09:23 am (UTC)
Re: It's not that bad
where's that from? i'm sure i saw that heading a chapter in Tim Lowe's 'The New Nature'. :D
norgconorgco on April 30th, 2009 09:30 am (UTC)
Re: It's not that bad
Not sure where it's from, just a quote someone I know uses.