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29 April 2009 @ 10:27 pm
 
THINGS TO REMEMBER IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE IN AUSTRALIA

#1 If something bites/stings/claws/stabs or otherwise maims you and you're still alive in 15 minutes, you're going to be fine.
#2 Do not approach large bodies of water - no matter how tempting.
#3 Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it won't eat you.
#4 It's all true.
#5 Carry a large stick.
#6 Don't bother running.
#7 The North East Coast is NOT a holiday destination - it is Survival of the Fittest in action.
#8 Aeroguard won't protect you from mosquitos the size of airliners.
#9 Your house is not a safe zone.
#10 DO NOT CUDDLE THE WILDLIFE

 
 
 
a particularly heartless line of binary code: i have no words no not even a littlecharlie_d_blue on April 29th, 2009 09:59 am (UTC)
*dies laughing*

You forgot #11: Dropbears, motherfucker.

;)