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22 August 2006 @ 02:00 am
*new chapter*

Title: Kobol Forgive Us
by: </a></font>
This boarders on pointless smut and was the result of Gateworld. Obviously, warnings of ridiculous amounts of smut with MULTIPLE pairings, ie - if you don't want to hear or know about baltar - zarek - etc DON'T COME RUNNING TO ME BECAUSE I TOLD YOU SO.
Rated: at the moment, M
Pairings: Roslin and (insert names of every male character you can think of) This chapter though, we only get to cover R/Z and R/A


I own everything - I stole the entire franchise and intend to make a huge fortune living off of it for the rest of my medically extended life so BAH!


Okay, so I lie - I don't own a scrap of metal on a defective Viper Jet. I make NO money and I'm really *really* sorry for what I'm doing to your awsome characters.

Time spent on Kobol: 13 hours and 45 minutes.
Weather: Surprisingly taking a smoke.
Irritating People Nearby: None - I airlocked them all. Bastards.
Situation So Far: Sitting on a rock looking at another rock.
Time Since Last Frak: Too traumatising to go into now.

NOTE: Due to boredom - have decided to add new category.

Passes Made By Zarek: 8 - hang on, yep - now that's 9 (and climbing).

So the rain stopped.

Not to worry though, Laura had no doubt that the atmosphere was currently plotting - retrieving as much moisture from the surface of Kobol as possible and preparing to pour it all back down on them again. It was just an endless cycle of being wet and wetter. She couldn't wait.

By this stage, everyone had parted company with their plastic rain sheaths. They were useless against monsoonal rain, hot - heavy and awkward. Trekking aimlessly through an alien forest was bad enough, it didn't need to be done under a personal greenhouse. Unless it killed off some of the more irritating members of her expedition, store interesting fact for later...

And what an expedition team she had picked out for this historic mission. A mutinous son rebelling against military authority - his father, death of his brother and sexual frustration with the self destructive ex. Then there were the three ex-cons obsessed with assassinating her, a horny terrorist about to get bitch slapped and her good self. Also known as a pain in the ass President-come-prophet who had caused all the trouble to begin with.

Wait, she'd forgotten to mention the Human form Cylon currently going by the name of Sharon. (No, not the one back on the ship who shot the Admiral - this is a different one who claims she 'knows' she is a 'cylon' and therefore is in 'control' of her actions and really 'wants to help the humans' because she's 'pregnant' to one of Battlestar's officers (whose presence Laura forgot to mention).

In other words, this expedition was frakked from the beginning. If they could make it to the tomb of Athena without eating each other, drowning, and/or getting caught by the Commander then it would be a monumental testament to life's indecisiveness. There were so many knives hovering over people's (and that term is used loosely) backs that Laura decided to get some air.

Overthrown President Laura Roslin sat on her rock - admiring the view. The Tomb of Athena huddled into the opposite mountain range, a roughly carved exterior peaking out from over-nourished flora. It was still a good day's walk from them.

On the slightly less morbid side, Laura congratulated herself on losing Zarek somewhere back at the camp. He was too busy comparing injuries with Lee to notice her slip out and clamber up the boulders. Zarek - frak, she was constantly worried about stepping on him. He seemed to be always there - and it just peeved her off. Admittedly not as much as the Commander throwing her in the brig and declaring Martial Law - that was plain uncalled for. If the Commander had only asked, Laura felt sure she could have arranged something equally kinky. Careful, you hate them all - remember?

Irrational hate may be a great short term solution but after a while it became exhausting - always having to think up fresh insults, wasting precious brain space imagining the many ways in which she would air lock him, (and others) when she was re-instated. Yes, the whole thing was rather tiring. And that was the problem - the complete tragedy. She was almost too tired to continue her reign of tyranny.

An audible sigh alerted a nearby Zarek - lurking in the bushes, that the President was teetering on the edge of civility. He was no fool - the President was as temperamental as the weather, attempting to predict her future mood was just foolish and dangerous. You might as well throw the little pictures of rain clouds, stars and ice drifts randomly at the magnetic board and say, "frak - I don't know, look out your own gods-damned window".

Looking out this particular window, Zarek saw partial clouds with a possible approaching storm on the horizon. Fair sailing really. Not that he was watching her or anything, and he certainly didn't take note of the way her soaked auburn hair began to curl at the edges, its natural unruliness cutting through the image bullshit. It was very much, 'Laura' and a little less, 'walking god'.

The air around Laura dropped a few degrees and the distinct feeling of being stalked set in. She just knew it was that distressingly, somewhat attractive, frakking terrorist. Oh well, he can be the first to speak - there was no way she was going to initiate a conversation with him. Bastard

"Laura?" Zarek spoke before approaching, careful to re-evaluate her mood every second or so to avoid injury or death. Laura was busy ignoring him, still hoping he would go away and leave her in peace.


She wanted this time to think - clear her head. Reading the scriptures cover to cover and finding the arrogance required to believe yourself the promised prophet was all very taxing.

Taxes - did she still pay them?

"Madame President?" he repeated, testing a few more steps.

She closed her eyes; he obviously wasn't going to go away on his own.

"Do I detect the approach of a missing medkit?" she spoke, closing her eyes to the scenery in front of her, instead concentrating on the breeze picking up around her.

"What? Ah no - I leant it to Helo."

"You leant my medkit? Tut tut Zarek, and I thought you were a politician."

"Well technically I'm a terrorist."

"My mistake." Damn, he managed to squeeze out an honest laugh from her.

The President removed her heavy jacket long ago, failing to realise that her blouse had been pulled around enough by the hike to coax several buttons apart. The result was a top with a precariously low dip revealing more than the beginnings of cleavage. Zarek was staring, he couldn't help it. He was a man and the President happened to be an unfairly attractive woman with her top undone. His eyes focused on the skin beneath the white material as often as possible, taking advantage of any distraction to stare unabashedly at the sight.

It was all great - until she caught him.

Laura stopped speaking, hoping the sudden silence might snap Zarek out of it - but it failed. He didn't even seem to notice - he just - kept staring. Laura - against her will, seemed to be staring back.

This was not good.

Somewhere between staring at Zarek and constructing a space proof argument on how much of a bad idea this was, Zarek found his way over to her. He took up a seat beside her on the rock, leaning closer than was permissible for her fragile - sexually frustrated state.

A hand brushed her wrist and he continued moving in until she felt sure he was about to kiss her - only he didn't. His head diverted sideways where warm breath licked the skin beside her ear. Zarek lowered his lips closer, "There's more than one terrorist here."

Zarek let his other hand move down between her shoulder blades, edging closer to the small of her back.

"You're a frakking nightmare." she managed, allowing him to narrow the air separating them.

He smirked, "I know."

"And I just want you to know -"

Zarek shifted his head back, threatening to make the final contact. "Yes?"

"That I hate you." finished Laura firmly. She offered one final resistance, hesitating and pulling back, but Zarek was persistent, taking her by the mouth and devouring her futile rebellion. Laura did away with restraint.

Twenty minutes later the Commander's name broke from her lips - the arrival of the only man she hated more than Zarek to her thoughts shattering any underlying sanity. Zarek didn't notice or didn't care.

Time spent thinking up punishments for the Ex-President: 13 hours and 50 minutes.
Plan Progress: Currently no plan.
Irritating People Nearby: Many.
Location: The Bridge
Number of times he has thought about the President naked: 12 (in the last ten minutes)


"Sir - they've finished searching the ex-president's quarters. All they managed to find were a couple of empty Chamalla bottles, the usual documentation you'd expect a President to have in her desk and this." Gaeta handed over a small piece of paper. "This was left in the middle of her desk."

Adama eyed the scrap suspiciously. "Did you read it?"

Gaeta shook his head. "No sir - I presumed it would be for you."

"Thank you, dismissed." He waited until Gaeta returned to his post. Bill unfolded the note to find a short message written by the Ex-President's hand.

'So long and frak you.'

Dark Day - typical. She had left him with the wise words from a book exploring the destruction of a militarised nation after the government is hijacked during a war. This line ironically from the General himself.

She must have known this whole thing had been coming. Perhaps she was more intelligent then he gave her credit for.

The Commander was tired of all these intellectual games so he decided, then and there to frak it all. He was going to go down to that planet and haul all their sorry asses back up into space - if only for the pleasure of throwing them in the brig. He was going to put this dysfunctional family back in the same ship and try really hard not to think about the ex-president in red lingerie.

(Anonymous) on August 22nd, 2006 05:42 am (UTC)
the BAD NEWS have you heard the BAD NEWS?!

galactica_art on August 23rd, 2006 12:47 am (UTC)
Fabulous chapter! I really love this, it's so funny!