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09 August 2006 @ 03:51 am
Title: Kobol Forgive Us
by: ellymelly
This boarders on pointless smut and was the result of Gateworld. Obviously, warnings of ridiculous amounts of smut with MULTIPLE pairings, ie - if you don't want to hear or know about baltar - zarek - etc DON'T COME RUNNING TO ME BECAUSE I TOLD YOU SO.
Rated: at the moment, G soon to be MA!
Pairings: Roslin and (insert names of every male character you can think of) This chapter though, we only get to cover R/Z and R/A

(apologies, no smut in this chapter, I kind of got caught up writing the intro - stupid plot! But there will be so much smut to follow I'm sure you won't mind)

Chapter 1: Bats and Rats

Time spent on Kobol: 4 hours and 38 minutes.
Weather: Disgusting - don't talk to me about it.
Irritating People Nearby: All of them, we just landed.
Situation So Far: Lost, delirious from Chamalla and frakking sick of the frakking rain.

Time Since Last Frak: SEVEN MONTHS (don't talk to me - I will make sure you suffer).


President Laura Roslin sighed as heavily as she could, not bothering to divert the stream of water currently making its way over her glasses - rendering her practically blind. After all the spectacle and show and "oh my gods look, we're going to defy the Admiral and go to Kobol and find earth" fiasco - all they'd managed to achieve so far was a few miles through Kobolian undergrowth. They were semi-lost, (not that they were ready to admit that yet) and about to head up hill of all things.

This was not something the President was looking forward to. If she had known, she would have stolen a pair of boots.

Needless to say, the initial excitement had worn off. Relentless down pours made nothing but the most primitive communication possible. And to that point, Laura found the manner in which that terrorist tried to catch her attention totally inappropriate yet wildly 'bad-thought' inspiring. It was all in the way he stayed a pace and a half behind her - two paces and that was civil, one pace and it was like, 'room already please!' But one and a half - that was the genius of it, he was just close enough to stumble into every now and then.

If only he hadn't worn leather.

Irrational hatred was her only defense for the situation, and she was standing by that wisdom. That didn't mean she couldn't look though. It made the rain bearable - just.

On the subject of frustrating men, Laura couldn't help but wonder if the Admiral had come to his senses yet. Flirting briefly at the prospect of him chasing after her she firmly reminded herself that he was yet another male in the long list that she currently wasn't speaking to because of their previous, undeniable male stupidity.

She also wondered if he wore leather occasionally.

Back to irrational hatred.

"Uh - oh frak!" Laura, distracted by a mind that wouldn't shut up, accidentally misjudged the upward slope in front of her and felt her body hit the ground - then, much against her will, begin to slide down the grassy path. Her hands flailed, searching for something to grab onto. They hit various useless plant shoots that bent and fell through her hands, once her foot hit a small branch but that wasn't much use and just as she was about to pre-order a new Cylon body to cover the damages - a hand appeared from nowhere and her motion stopped.

It was Zarek, the frakking terrorist.

"Woah there Madame President."

If he didn't wipe that smug look of his face before she regained her balance The President was going to do something incredibly childish - like push him into the mud.

"Going somewhere?" Zarek smiled annoyingly.

"Go frak a tree." she snapped back, her mood darkening as the mud deepened several layers over her skin.

He let go of her once he was sure she was stable, raising his hands in innocence, "Just looking out for our one true prophet."

Laura glared at him something shocking - Zarek was sure that this was the beginning of one of her famous, 'frak the world I'm the President of the known universe - deal with it!' moods... Which meant that she was about to become irresistibly attractive. For now though, self protection was at an all time high so he gave her a an extra pace of space. Good thing he didn't go too far away though, much to the President's disgust, he had to catch her twice more before they reached the top.

Upon reaching the summit, most of the party became overcome by the desire to launch themselves off into the abyss for it seemed that instead of climbing up the hill that went nowhere, they could have in fact gone around. Failing to end their existence, the next logical train of thought was to rip the guide to pieces.

"You knew this was a dead end! How 'come you let us climb all the way up here just to climb all the way down?" Lee was so exhausted and pissed off that he clean forgot he had a weapon to brandish if he wanted to really make an impression on the Cylon. Sharon remained unmoved.

"You asked if this was the right direction, and I said yes. It was you who neglected to ask whether or not this was the fasted, easiest route."

Lee desperately tried to think of an intelligent response, one hand resting on his belt and the other pointing at random. "You - well, I - FRAK!"

"On the brighter side," continued Sharon, ignoring the incoherent mutterings from Lee, "now you can really get a good look of the lay of the land."

Roslin detached herself from where Zarek had saved her - yet again - from a nasty fall. Frak-a-doodle-joy

If she had taken a moment to think about the situation, it was really quite extraordinary. They were actually standing on the planet that most children spent their better days darting in and out its legend. Home of the gods - and so far all the best bits were real. The Arrow of Apollo. 'Tick' found that. Planet - 'big tick', she was defiantly sure that was real. As Sharon continued speaking and pointing to various places around the landscape Laura managed to tick several more things off her list. It should have been a great moment, yet all she could think was - this is the Kobol from the scriptures? What a frakking let down. The least the gods could have done is arrange some decent weather but no they'd rather sit on their mountain and watch the poor insects squirm about in the mud.

But maybe it was just a bad day and the gods in question were in the mood for magnifying glasses.


Time spent on Kobol: 9 hours and 12 minutes.
Weather: WORSE!
Irritating People Nearby: One particularly close. Much too close. Make note to have irritating person airlocked.
Situation So Far: Really lost. Really sick of the frakking rain.

Time Since Last Frak: SEVEN MONTHS 9 hours, 12 minutes, 36 seconds (and counting).

They were now knee deep in water attempting to cross what was probably once a casual mountain stream. Now it was more of a raging torrent catching hold of their water logged legs, threatening to drag them off one by one down the riverbed and off the moss lined cliffs of a nearby waterfall. Everything that wasn't essential to travel had been strapped or packed into their backpacks then covered with military ponchos. It didn't do much good though, the rain was so thick they could scarce tell where the stream ended and the oxygen began.

If matters could at all be worse, the stones were only loosely packed together. With every second step their polished surfaces gave way and your foot sank deep into the bed, off balancing the poor soul. Unconsciously, they were all holding hands, using each other as a support network and in this delicate configuration they managed to span the river in a spider web motion, traversing it successfully.

"Alright," Laura raised her voice through the down pour, "let's take a break."

There was little disagreement on the matter, some individuals falling to the ground before she'd even finished speaking. Bloody ex-cons, where was their stamina?

'Oh here we go again, just what I don't need' thought Laura as Zarek approached again. Damn him, what on Kobol was the fascination? She always did her best to be brutally awful to him, yet here he was. Persistent little rodent - "What can I do for you this time?" she managed in a rare moment of civility. It was wasted on him though, Zarek didn't seem to be interested in playing games this time.

"I think I lost my kit out of my backpack in that stream back there and I have this nasty cut." he held up a bloodied hand to confirm the dialogue's truth. What was she, his mother now?

"So go see the medic."

"We didn't bring one."

"Oh." Whoops she knew she'd forgotten something in the rush, breaking out of jail and running for you life tended to do that to you and - was he, pouting? Oh she did not have time for this.

Reluctantly she dug out her medkit - resurrecting it from its safe location, holding it out in his general direction.

He didn't take it.

"Hello? Zarek - it's a one time offer that's soon to expire."

He still didn't relieve her of the medkit.

"Madame President - Laura, uh - " Zarek stuttered, not sure how far he could test his luck with the woman - especially in the rain, the rain made her worse.

"Out with it Zarek, I haven't got all day to spend basking in you brilliance."

"It's just - I can't possibly fix it myself, would you mind?"

Would she mind - would she mind alright. Laura really didn't have time for this but out of the goodness of her heart she spent the next ten minutes with a poncho slung between them - repairing the terrorist so he could live to pillage another day.

The things she did for some peace.


Apologies, smut will follow - much much smut. It just turned out a little differently. Damn the plot! It takes up precious space.

selenay_x: Laura adorableselenay_x on August 8th, 2006 05:11 pm (UTC)
Grins. Loving it so far. I love Laura being paired with the not obvious. Looking forward to the next part
pearlwing on August 9th, 2006 12:57 am (UTC)
This about the most awesome thing ever. Seriously. And I already expressed my love to it over at SI, so I give thee chocolates. *hands over fancy box* Give more soon! ^.^
galactica_art on August 20th, 2006 11:28 pm (UTC)
I absolutely LOVE this so far! It's so funny! I laughed the whole way through it, i love how Zarek & Roslin are in this! Really looking forward to more!
ellymelly: alright...ellymelly on August 21st, 2006 09:59 pm (UTC)
thanks for the review!

um, hey i have a question for you... (feel free to ignore me or throw pointy objects) but i have it on good authority that you are a wiz at LJ (and don't pretend you're not because i've SEEN your LJ lol) and i was just wondering if you could tell me how on earth you do insert a picture at the top of an LJ page. I know you have to set the design to 'squares' or whatever it is, but i'm not sure how to get the image to sit. also, do you know what the dimensions of the image need to be?

*please help* lol. *crawls on hands and knees baring chocolate*
galactica_art on August 21st, 2006 11:33 pm (UTC)
*takes chocolate*

LOL believe me i'm not a wiz at LJ! It took me absolutely forever to find out how to get a header image! It's all about using an External Stylesheet, it's really not as difficult as it may sound.

I don't really know where to begin so here's how i found out how to do it, these tutorials are brilliant and if you follow them slowly you'll get there!

This is how you set up the External Stylesheet:


Once you've done that, here's how to add a header image:


That's all you need but if you're having real trouble with any part of it let me know and i'll try to help!
ellymelly: Squeeellymelly on August 22nd, 2006 08:18 am (UTC)
omg you absolutly ROCK! it worked! i mean, it took ages and ages and ages but it WORKED! *does happy dance*

*gives chocolate - lots of chocolate*
(Anonymous) on August 22nd, 2006 05:27 pm (UTC)
Yay glad you got it working!
galactica_art on August 22nd, 2006 05:28 pm (UTC)
Argh that was me. :-)