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05 June 2006 @ 11:51 pm
Be Prepared part 4  
Title: Be Prepared
By: ellymelly
Stargate/Atlantis crossover
Genre: Comedy/Action
Summary: What happens when you give a human a time machine? ah, 'bad things' if you're mckay... lmao!

That’s not great news… 

Characters:
•   Dr. Elizabeth Weir
•   Dr. Rodney Mckay
•   Major John Sheppard
•   Dr. Zelenka
•    Lieutenant Ford
•   Teyla
•   Dr. Daniel Jackson
•   Colonel Samantha Carter
•   Thor
•   Oh dozens more…

Pairings: pair whomever you wish  Grin

[ Rule number one in amateur space exploring: Never give a human a time machine -  ]  Grin Grin Grin

JOHN: “Alright Mckay, break it down into manageable courses.”
RODNEY: “We’re on a space ship, we can’t get off.”
JOHN: “Nice. New plan, let’s find a way off.”

-   Sheppard broke their rather large group down into discrete units. He sent Rodney, Zelenka, Carter and Beckett to the bridge; Teyla and Dr. Jackson in search of – well in search and he went off to relay the situation to Thor.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

-   It only took the two groups several minutes to get lost. The Rodney group found itself face to face with a series of doors – each one staring back in identical blankness. Carter was fiddling with the control panel in an attempt to open one of them. Rodney and Zelenka looked on as she struggled.

ZELENKA: “We could just-“
CARTER: “I’m fine.”

-   The panel beeped happily and the door slid open to reveal an enormous room. The back wall of the room was completely clear and looked out on the local solar system – its star burning brightly in the background. In its centre sat a lone puddle jumper.

RODNEY: “Cool.”

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

THOR: “What is that you mean by ‘stuck’?”
JOHN: “We ah, can’t seem to get off the ship.”
THOR: “I shall beam you up.”

-   John waits. Several minutes pass.

JOHN: “Yeah, Mckay said that wouldn’t work.”
THOR: “I do not understand.”   Huh
JOHN: “We had a little accident with the control panel, it seems we accidentally raised the shields on this baby.”

-   Thor thought carefully about what Major Sheppard had just said. After much deliberation and examination of his own sensors he replied - in his best O’Neil voice.

THOR: (O’Neil style) Ya don’ say.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

ZELENKA: “Not my first choice.”

-   The three of them looked at the contraption in the centre of the puddle jumper which was now glowing brightly.

CARTER: “What’d you do?”   Huh
RODNEY: “I’m not entirely sure.”
ZELENKA: “It could just be me, but wasn’t that planet green a few moments ago?”
CARTER: “Mckay, what were you thinking just now?”
RODNEY: “Oh nothing – just thinking back to that mission report where you found a time machine inside a puddle jumper and I thought, ‘wouldn’t it be cool if we…”
BECKETT: “O’ no…”
CARTER: “Flip it back! Flip it back!”

-   *FLASH* The planet returns to a nice lush green.

BECKETT: “O’ thank god.”

-   *FLASH*

RODNEY: “Uh oh…”  Shocked
CARTER: “Rodney!”    Angry

-   *FLASH*

RODNEY: “Hey, cool.”  Grin
ZELENKA: “Quit it!”       Angry

-   *FLASH*

BECKETT: “Here ‘e go.”    Undecided

-   *FLASH*
-   Two huge Wraith ships start flying towards them.

CARTER: “MCKAY!”   Angry
RODNEY: “Oh, sorry.”

-   *FLASH*

BECKETT: “Knock it off Mckay!”   Angry

-   *FLASH*

RODNEY: “I’m confused.”   Huh
ZELENKA: “Rodney!”   Angry
RODNEY: “Kidding.”  Grin
 
-   *FLASH*

CARTER: “Oh for the love of Pete… Give it here!”
RODNEY: “You haven’t got the funky gene.
BECKETT: “I’ll do’t.”
RODNEY/ZELENKA: “NO!”   Angry Angry
CARTER: “Don’t think anything.”
ZELENKA: “Do you think it would be wise idea to get out of here?”
RODNEY: “Don’t ask me questions or I’ll start thinkin’.”
ZELENKA: “I wasn’t, I was simply giving you instructions so that we don’t end up in any more life threatening predica –”

-   *FLASH*
-   They all turn to see the sun swollen and about to explode…

CARTER/BECKETT/ZELENKA: (frantically yelling) “Turn it back!”  Shocked Shocked Shocked
 
-   *FLASH*

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

-   Major Sheppard is still standing in the hallway with a holographic Thor in front of him when his radio breaks the awkward silence.

TEYLA:(radio) “Major Sheppard, this is Teyla, we’ve found the bridge.”
JOHN:(in shock)  “I thought you were supposed to be looking around. I sent the Dr.’s to the bridge.”   Huh
TEYLA: (radio) “We got a little lost, as I suspect – so did everyone else.”
JOHN: “Oh man.”
THOR: “Can not Lieutenant Ford and Teyla complete the mission in place of Dr.’s Carter, Mckay, Beckett and Zelenka?”

-   John couldn’t believe his luck.

JOHN: “It’s – possible…”
MCKAY: (radio) “We’re screwed.”

-   John did a double take of his radio.

JOHN: “Mckay?”
MCKAY: (radio) “Oh, sorry, did I say that last bit out loud?”   Huh

-   Another holographic materializes into the hall next to Thor. John jumps back a few feet.

ELIZABETH: (waving) “Hi.”
JOHN: (shocked) “Ah! There you are…”
ELIZABETH: (smitten) “There I am.”  Grin
JOHH: “You’re on Thor’s ship?”   Huh
ELIZABETH: “mmm no. I’m in Atlantis.”

-   John was fast re-thinking the superior nature of the Asguard race.

JOHN: “Oh, okay.”
ELIZABETH: “I’m going to check on Rodney, make sure he’s not touching anything.”

-   Her hologram disappears. Thor looks back at Sheppard and narrows his eyes. Sheppard hopes that this is a biological malfunction.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

-   Back in the jumper.

MCKAY: “I know what I said but –”

-   *BEAM* Elizabeth’s hologram beams in.

MCKAY: “ ’lizabeth!”
ELIZABETH: “Rodney. Whatcha doin’?”   Huh
BECKETT: “He’s messin’ about with this time travel thing.”   Angry
ELIZABETH: “Rodney. Please tell me – ”

-   *FLASH*

MCKAY: “Whoops.”
ZELENKA: “Where’d she go?”
CARTER: “I’m presuming there’s no Asguard ship above us in whatever millennia Mckay has us in.”

-   *FLASH*

ELIZABETH: “ – that you’re not doing that. Time travel is a bad idea.’
CARTER: “It most certainly is.”
MCKAY: “Hey, no time passed for her. That’s interesting.”
ZELENKA: “Not really.”   Angry
ELIZABETH: “Major Sheppard wants you all to head off to the bridge.”
MCKAY: “Which is… where?”
CARTER: “Yeah, we’re a little lost at the moment.”
ELIZABETH: “Follow me. I’ll beam in and out.”
BECKETT: “O’kay.”

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

-   At the bridge.

TEYLA: “Ford, I do not think it wise to – ”

-   Ford reaches out and touches the little red button in the centre of the panel. Lights starts flashing and a general warning goes off.
-   Daniel listens intently and translates.

DANIEL: “General – alarm – um, activated. Ten – minutes to – ah…. Oh! self destruct.”   Cool

-   Daniel beams at his successful translation. His eyebrows drop when he realizes what he just said.

DANIEL: “That’s not great news…”  Sad

-   Major Sheppard runs into the control room, beaten by holographic Thor.

-   *BEAM*

THOR: “My sensors indicate that you have – ”
JOHN: “What happened?”

-   *BEAM*

ELIZABETH: “What’d I miss?”  Smiley
FORD: “Ah, I was just…”   Undecided

-   The Doctors enter the bridge puffing.

MCKAY: “Please tell me you didn’t – ”
DANIEL: “Nine minutes to self destruct.”
ZELENKA: “Self de wha’?”
BECKETT: “O’ no.”  Shocked
 
 
 
hypercazhypercaz on June 5th, 2006 11:00 pm (UTC)
ELLY! Was that SHWEIR?!
ellymelly: swearellymelly on June 6th, 2006 11:10 pm (UTC)
you have to keep everyone happy somehow :D lmao